freaking fuck. i miss my brothers.
i guess my paranoia is getting way worse lately. all-nighters were never this freaky.
All it takes is a simple remark about the symptoms of bipolar disorder, a simple comparison to something devalued and unreal. It’s like an elementary school student walking into an engineering mechanics lecture and saying none of the curriculum makes sense, so none of it is true. How can one possibly explain oneself to those who are ignorant that which is incomprehensible to them?
On another note, why should I care? Nothing bothers me when I snap my left fingers and become someone else, someone who doesn’t care about the indecency of humanity. It’s easy to feel nothing sometimes, to care about nothing except for the basic instinct of survival.
Conclusively, to even think of such things would be to create enough thoughts about a subject to make up for the absence of minds that others have splattered all over our planet. It has no real purpose.
I need stronger antipsychotics. I’m sick of imagining monsters and serial killers at night.
I remember in 4th grade, going to a Christian school, the music teacher gave our class a long talk about avoiding evil music such as Eminem.
I love Eminem.
it’s been almost 2 months. my military press went up to 135x3, my bench press from 205 to 235, my squat from 225 to 275, and my deadlift from 315 to 365. the 5/3/1 is working so well. now i gotta deal with the possible plateau.
tomorrow is bench press day. 5/3/1 reps and 5x10. then rows and pull-downs. then tricep stuff.
i’m excited. this calls for ice cream cake. oooooh yeeeah