bipolar disorder can’t keep me down forever. lately i’ve been a very high-functioning person, studying mechanics and calculus, powerlifting [making gainz so big it doesn’t make sense], and keeping in touch with my fraternity. this past year, i’ve developed personal worth and character, and i’m more ready now than ever to return to school this summer and do well in engineering and contribute to my fraternity. TKE is a fraternity for life, building better men for a better world; I stand by this.
a few days ago i got a 10lb PR on my bench press (245lb), but somehow i just don’t care. all i care about now is getting my darn abs back so i can go shirtless everywhere i go in the summer. EVERYWHERE
i played and recorded this on my digital piano, then used my phone to record the playback of it. it’s only a quarter of a piece (Chopin Nocturne Opus Posthumous No. 20). i haven’t practiced enough to play the whole piece.
What does the doctor mean when he says that those certain disturbing thoughts of violence are not my thoughts? Can thoughts from my brain not belong to me? I don’t understand psychology. Fuck therapy. I just need drugs. And weights.